Finally being able to bring on an in-home caregiver or home health aide is a major change for everyone, no matter how welcome the respite may be. Even in the best of circumstances, when the carers are competent and pleasant and family dynamics peaceful, people are thrust into roles they never imagined …employer, manager of people, go-between. Below are some tips that may help set you up for success in this complex, difficult situation.
Take a moment to prepare for having in-home carers in your home
Having a stranger in your home is a big deal, no matter how much work you’ve done to find the right carers. Take some time to remove potential sources of stress that come with introducing a new at-home care dynamic.
You can do things just for your own mental support like designating a room that no one is allowed to access except you. This is where a special mug and other items that give you peace can be kept. Also, take a moment to make sure passwords are set on computers, phones, and any other electronics and valuables are secure. These things can give you peace of mind and allow you to focus on other tasks.
In our section on in-home care, we’ve provide more details and ideas for you get prepared.
Remember, you and the at-home carers are a team
Each member of the team sets the stage for the other’s success. Family and “inner-circle caregivers” can provide the hired carers with critical information about an individual’s specific needs and preferences and orient them to the home. The hired carers bring objective, experienced eyes and hands to the situation and free up family and inner circle caregivers for their other responsibilities, and to be present to the person receiving care as only they can.
Communication is key to managing help in the home
If you are managing the at-home care, there is a balance between being in charge and being a member of the team. You need to be clear in your expectations and lavish in your acknowledgements. It is a good idea to have one person, or at most two, in the family/inner circle directing and communicating with the carers. Otherwise, confusion and frustration will likely result.
That includes communication with the person being cared for, with family members, and with the carers. The more that various roles and expectations can be clarified, the better. Assumptions are not anyone’s friend in this situation.
Deal with family dynamics openly and honestly
Caregiving inevitably shifts family dynamics; a strong person needs care, a quiet person has to step up, the local person bears the majority of the effort, the distant person thinks they know best. Some families are united in endorsing a care plan; others not so much. Some family members will treat the at-home carers with respect; others not so much. If you are the one managing the carers, try to shield them as much as possible from unhappy or divisive family dynamics. If that is not possible, acknowledge the difficult situation exists and that all will have to cope with it.
Ask for help
If you feel in over your head, ask more experienced people for input. This may be a gerontologist if you are working with one, a friend that has experience managing an in-home caregiving situation, or a support group. You do not need to figure out everything yourself.
Know that at-home care can become too much for a person
There may come a time when it is too difficult or too expensive to maintain someone at home, no matter how much everyone would prefer that.
Explore our information on getting care outside the home to see if any of the options outlined will work for you. It is not a defeat or a failure if eventually keeping someone at home is no longer practical. Try to take solace in all that has been done to support the person and simply recognize that there is another phase in this journey.
To help you further, we’ve created in-depth guides to that will help you plan and prepare for getting care in the home. We discuss everything from how to find the type of care you need, to getting ready for in-home care ahead of time, to find ways to help pay for it! Reading our suggestions can help set you up for success in the days to come.
